The word Like

So much misuse, so little time.

The word "like" is beginning to become a problem. Why only just now, you ask? Here's where the issue hits the fan: when the bad linguistic habits of one's youth follow one into adulthood and begin to affect even the older generations in a viral way that is all too literal (picture the word like as the exponentially growing monster from "The Blob"), then you have a problem.

Now for an illustration drawn from the writer's own life:
I remember distinctly when I started using the word like. I was in fifth grade and I was 11 years old. Just beginning my arduous journey through puberty, I suddenly noticed that everyone was saying it. It was similar to noticing breasts for the first time. Before, girls were cootie-carriers that you didn't want coming too close, and then suddenly, they grew these very adult looking lumps of flesh on their chests and became mysterious. Suddenly, they were everywhere!

You could compare it to burning popcorn. Things are popping along just fine and then, in an instant, the entire house is filled with a rank odor that stings the nostrils. In just a few seconds of inattention, your house is laden with stink that refuses to leave for days. "Like" was the same way. At first, being the late adopter of trends that I am, I hated the word. I thought it was incredibly stupid and lowered the intelligence of everyone involved.

I was right.

Just a few weeks later, after the entire fifth grade being inundated with the word, I used it improperly for the first time. I kicked myself internally for having used it, but like Pringles, you can't stop with just one.

Years later, I find myself becoming frustrated with my own over-frequent improper use of the word. When a habit gets so frequent that even the person performing it notices, there must be a problem. It's gotten to the point where I have to conciously scan for the word before I speak and think hard about an alternative word to use in it's place. The sad part is, I often can't think of the alternative.

So, belated New Year's resolution, maybe? No, that almost guarantees failure. How about just a good solid effort and lots of rubber bands to snap around my wrist. Good old corporal punishment -- Works every time!